The Serenity Prayer Unveiled: Finding Peace and Power Through Acceptance and Change

We wrap up Season 1! We'll take the month of February off and jump into season 2 beginning in March!

Have you ever whispered the Serenity Prayer under your breath during a challenging moment, hoping for a shred of peace? Zaw and I invite you on a journey through this episode, where we peel back the layers of this simple yet profound invocation. Reflecting on how the prayer is not just a ritual in recovery meetings but a guiding light for intentional living, we share personal anecdotes and insights into the intersection of mindfulness, unity, and spirituality that it promotes. The essence of the prayer transcends religious boundaries, offering solace and a sense of community to all who seek serenity in their lives.

As we navigate life's unpredictable waters, the concepts of acceptance, change, and courage often feel like buoys keeping us afloat. We delve into how acceptance can lead to transformative growth, acknowledging our reality and moving forward without resistance. By intertwining Buddhist teachings of loving-kindness and impermanence with personal agency, we uncover the strength in recognizing what we can and cannot control. 

To conclude, we face the daunting task of embracing change and the wisdom required in discerning our circle of influence. We discuss the courageous steps necessary to alter life's course. The ongoing quest for wisdom is not a solitary venture but a shared experience filled with lessons from within and from the stories of others. This episode invites you to find your serenity, muster your courage, and seek the wisdom to know the difference on your path to recovery or simply a more mindful existence.

Visit our website!
Creating a Sustainable Recovery Plan: Mindfulness and the Power of Community — Recovery Collective — Annapolis, MD (recoverycollectivemd.com)
Zaw Maw — Recovery Collective — Annapolis, MD (recoverycollectivemd.com)
Luke DeBoy — Recovery Collective — Annapolis, MD (recoverycollectivemd.com)

Please send your questions to luke@recoverycollectivemd.com

Thanks for listening, and please subscribe/comment/review/follow/like; if you think others would benefit from the podcast episode, share with others, as COLLECTIVELY, we can find solutions to all things health and wellness.

The episodes contain content, including information provided by guests, intended for perspective, informational, and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, legal, or other advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you have a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 or 9-8-8

Explore a mindful path with Zaw Maw's coaching—Foster balance, healing, recovery, and meditation in your life's journey through his supportive and wisdom-based guidance.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome to Therapists of Buddhists and you, brought to you by the Recovery Collective in Annapolis, maryland. My name is Luke DeBooy and I am here with my friend, my co-finant, my cohort, the one and only Zomo, hey, zomo.

Speaker 2: 0:22

Hey, luke, good to see you in person.

Speaker 1: 0:24

In person. We haven't done a physical in person one in quite a while, so it's been good to get back to our studio aka office in Annapolis, Maryland, at the Recovery Collective. It's got a good feel here, doesn't it?

Speaker 2: 0:40

I like coming here.

Speaker 1: 0:41

Yeah, it's been nice that we have the ability of technology and be able to do it at our humble abodes, but there's something about doing an in-person episode, I feel.

Speaker 2: 0:56

Definitely yeah. What are we talking about today?

Speaker 1: 1:00

Well, we're going to talk about the serenity prayer and all the things that are wonderful and powerful and tactful and impactful when it comes to that. But we've done a year's worth of episodes, which have been awesome. But we've been thrown around the idea of eventually starting a second season, and often what becomes before a second season is a little break. So Zall and I have been contemplating when we'll take just a little time off and we're throwing around the idea that we take February off and recharge our batteries and we'll probably record a couple during the month of February. But we've got certainly a few other content ideas we're beginning to brainstorm so that way we can bring all of our wonderful listeners. But right now we're throwing around the idea of taking the month of February off and then getting into season two beginning of March.

Speaker 2: 2:07

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

Speaker 1: 2:10

Recharge our batteries and look forward to giving content through the episodes and maybe some we'll talk more later about it but more content in different platforms that we can give the listeners in the future as well.

Speaker 1: 2:26

Sounds good Serenity prayer. Let's jump in. It's interesting. We're both in recovery and there's so many things that I can easily get complacent on.

Speaker 1: 2:43

We go to meetings and something that we say all the time is I'm Luke, I'm an addict, I'm an alcoholic, and we say that all the time, but sometimes that in itself can lose meaning. There's a reason why I say it. It's not just ritualistic or traditional to do so, and when I say that in a meeting and I'm Luke, I'm an alcoholic what I try to remind myself in to do is really what one of my favorite definitions of an alcoholic is is step one, that when I say that and I want that to remind me that I'm parallel or sober drugs and alcohol, that my life had become immanageable, and that can be an empowered thing and not a frustrating, woe is me type thing. We can just say that and as part of the routine.

Speaker 1: 3:37

I think that can be true for something just as powerful as this serenity prayer that we often say after meetings, whether it's the Lord's Prayer or the Serenity Prayer and we can just say the words and we can get complacent on the power of these words and the intentionality behind these words. We talk about a collective solution to health and wellness. I think the Serenity Prayer that we have certainly highlighted pieces over in this season, one over this past year, and we've mentioned the Serenity Prayer for a lot of different reasons. So I felt it's a really good time to give it its show, give it its own episode and really break down the Serenity Prayer and the power that can come from the meaning and the intention behind that prayer. What do you think?

Speaker 2: 4:36

That sounds really good. Yeah, I have a lot of respect for that prayer. There's nothing that Serenity Prayer cannot be applied to, so that's what I like about that prayer, and I have a lot of respect for the recovery community and this prayer too. So I just wanted to begin by saying that I'm very curious about what's going to be unpacked out of it, but at the same time, I was taught this prayer by a friend who was in the 12-step program and I haven't even joined the program and she taught me that and then I had to memorize it. It was tricky to memorize it, but then I really believe that that prayer has been keeping me around all along and so, yeah, I have a lot of respect for that. But I also know that it has some religious background to it. So I just wanted to make sure that I approach it from a layman point of view, but also the wisdom embedded in it, and also it will talk more about it.

Speaker 2: 5:33

For me, it had more to do with the. I believe in the power of prayer in terms of bringing mindfulness to the present moment. So for me, those were meditation moments, where when we go to 12-step recovery meetings, at the end they say it, or in the beginning they say it, so it's like the coming together of all the attention into the sound of the prayer. So that's how I started getting a sense of belonging. So I believe in that unison and then that union of unity of people saying it together, and I believe in the power too, in that.

Speaker 1: 6:08

I like it and, as you guys know, we certainly like to break things down and do it deeper dives. So we're going to do that with the prayer and even though this is a prayer, a lot of people look at this in a non-religious way. People often look at it in a spiritual way or a union connecting thing which we're going to just kind of go in and go for it. But so that first word you could spend a whole session group on God. We're not going to. So if you don't like the word God, you can replace it with. I'm giving you, the listeners, the option to replace it with higher power, with to whom it may concern whatever you so choose, but we're not going to spend the whole session on that. One word, when it comes to 12 steps, it's as we understood him and if you look at the steps, we understand that it's something more powerful than just us and its own right. But it says this higher power, god grant me. It's our first kind of sign of humility, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 7:21

We ask this power to whom it may concern? Grant me, allow me to have, let me receive, give me it's a humble request of this divine assistance or this. To intervene, meaning not left to my own devices. I'm looking at something, not just me, and we're asking the it, the power, this, if it's divine, if you so look at it that way. We're asking and it's a humbling process off the get-go, to whom it may concern. Please give me Quite a way to start an ask or a prayer. So we start out with a humble request Grant me serenity and I'm known for saying that to me, my favorite thing that I've ever gotten from sobriety and recovery is this word and we're asking this power, whatever it might be, to whom it may concern. We're asking this power, in a humble, as way as possible, to give me, allow me to have intervene so I can have this peace of mind, calmness of mind. What do you think about that?

Speaker 2: 8:44

Yeah, a lot is already packed in those words.

Speaker 1: 8:47

You started quick, didn't we? Yeah?

Speaker 2: 8:49

But the thing about God or higher power. I think that part is very important for whoever, because it can be the universe. But the wording of that really is about addressing it, turning my attention towards something positive. So I feel like that part is important too. We cannot skip it. It's like when I'm talking to you, I want to say Luke, as opposed to I'm just talking out into the air to whomever, so like using a particular word or whatever, it means a lot to you. That's like turning all the attention to that, so that I am paying attention, I'm addressing to it. So I think that part is also really important because we're setting an intention, addressing it.

Speaker 2: 9:32

But then the grand part it's interesting because I look at it from a non-theistic point of view for me is that you know Grant, as in like you mentioned it about humbly asking, you know with humility, so like if I just look at it, just like grant me as the word, that's kind of misleading.

Speaker 2: 9:52

But if I look at the whole prayer because this is a big deal about just any kind of spiritual practice in general is that when I'm asking for something, it's not about what I'm asking for, but whether that grant is, whether that wish is granted or not has to do with the motive. So I want a lot of money, but is it for me to go buy drugs and alcohol? Or I want a lot of money is it to help people? So, if I think about that from that point of view, grant me the serenity. Like this, granting has to do with a good purpose, you know. So, yeah, it's not a demand, but it's more about, like you said, allowing me to have this so that I can use it for a good purpose, which is unpacked later.

Speaker 1: 10:32

Yeah, it's, it's. I'm asking for calmness, me asking for this peace of mind. This calmness of mind, which is one way, synonymously, I define. Serenity, implies a desire for inner peace in the face of challenges and uncertainties. And I often say that recovery in the spiritual principles, of these 12 steps that we have come to, to apply in our lives to the best of our abilities, gives me the ability to have internal peace even though I have potentially external chaos. And sometimes I ask from my higher power to please allow me give me this serenity when I can have, whether it's internal or external chaos. So that word, it didn't say grant me sobriety. This is grant me serenity. Higher power, allow me give me peace of mind, calmness of mind. Grant me serenity, and to me that is. We see that in the promises and we see that in the literature and in the heart of the spiritual principles.

Speaker 1: 11:57

It's not about things, it's about how we deal with things and life on life's terms. And having serenity and peace of mind is the opposite of, I think, restore us to, to sanity, right? If I don't have sanity, then I don't have serenity. If I don't have serenity, then it gives me another reason to drink a drug, doesn't it? I often drank to numb out feelings, I often drug to feel better or feel different. Well, if I have serenity, if I have calmness, tranquility, peace of mind, I can still have external chaos, I can still have stress in my life, but I can, if I can, have peace, internal peace, even with those six wow. So sometimes we need this power greater than ourselves, or a higher power, or this spirituality, to feel this peace of mind, calmness of mind. Well, why God, grant me the serenity to accept? To me, this is a crucial aspect of the recovery process to accept things, don't you think?

Speaker 2: 13:14

Definitely yeah. And before moving on, I do also want to emphasize the way I look at it that breaking down is very important, but also the integrity and the wholeness of the prayer seals the deal. So the way as you were talking, the way I was thinking, is that granting or asking, demanding, can be misleading. So because I also wanted to emphasize about the consistency, doing it repeatedly but also taking responsibility, because when I like ask, give it to me, you know the difference that I think of it like okay, higher power, give me a fish, I demand it, as opposed to God, help me Learn how to fish. There's a big difference between give me what I need as opposed to teach me so that I can learn how to be serene. So it's all unpacked later in the whole prayer.

Speaker 1: 14:03

Can we see that in the prayer? You're right, yeah, yeah, and I think it's the reason to. It says grant, which is a much more humble way than demanding. Grant is another way for allow or Allow me to know the difference, or the difference between accepting and changing the things I can and can't write, and we'll break all that down. I think you're right in In. Words are powerful and they can Confuse us or they can give us more empowerment. Right, and I think there's a reason why it says grant as opposed to Demand or whatever. Yeah, so let's go to accept.

Speaker 2: 14:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:40

That word is a crucial aspect of the recovery process. It's a fun, fundamental step in moving beyond denial, isn't it acceptance? If we don't accept things, then we are Potentially what? Potentially? In denial. If we don't accept things, then what do you think?

Speaker 2: 15:01

Yeah, though they already is a sense of surrender embedded in accepting. So I like that because, yeah, accepting means seeing the truth, you know, and yes, no fighting, I accept it. Yeah, so there's a lot of peace in that. Already that advice, or that instruction or that direction Help me to accept, you know yes even if it's like things I cannot change or things I can't change, it doesn't matter, just like asking for that acceptance already is an act of surrender.

Speaker 1: 15:30

And it's. It serves as a foundation for change. If I can accept things for how they are, then I can better identify the things that I can and can't change. I am not in denial if I accept things for how they are. I don't have to like it, but I can sure accept it. Yeah, it helps us embrace responsibility. If I accept, I'm not in denial, I am embracing the responsibility. It's a foundation for change and it's very mindful, isn't it? If we accept things, it's I'm in the present moment, without Future or unnecessary judgment, when I actually accept things for how they are.

Speaker 2: 16:20

Yeah, to sprinkle a little of Buddhism to it. It makes me think of, like, when I think about a set, it's like that concept of meta, the episode that we've done on loving kindness. So when I say accept, like there is a sense of friendliness, welcoming. When I accept a friendship, when I accept Somebody's invitation, there's a sense of harmony that when I accept it. There is no resistance, there is no fighting, there is no Against. It's all about yeah you know, you're welcoming it.

Speaker 1: 16:50

Good to accept the things we cannot change. So let's Identify things. Some of the things we cannot change past actions Can't change. Past actions Can't change a genetic predisposition. I can't change my genetics, can't change Certain consequences.

Speaker 1: 17:17

When I had my felony charge charge, I completely accepted that the judge could Deem me.

Speaker 1: 17:26

You got a felony charge and you're going to do three months in jail like I Accepted completely that.

Speaker 1: 17:32

I believe I did all the things that I could.

Speaker 1: 17:35

But the rest, when I was in front of that at Judge for you know copious amounts of cannabis and and they charge me for intended to distribute that I I completely accepted that I did the things that I could and whatever that judge was going to do, I Was going to be okay with it because I felt like in my at that point months, in the sobriety that I went to treatment, I was going to 12-step fellowship and, regardless of what was going to happen, that I was going to be okay. I had enough peace of mind and calmness of mind that even though if I was gonna get a charge to felony and it wasn't going to be PBJ and I was good if I was going to do jail time that I did everything in my power to Not do that and if I was going to do jail time, I accepted it and I had peace of mind the first part of this prayer that I was going to be okay Because I did I did all the things that I could.

Speaker 1: 18:34

I felt, so I Accepted, whatever the consequences were going to be. I I accepted that sometimes you have to accept other people's behaviors. Sometimes I want to change people, but I can't control or change people, can I?

Speaker 2: 18:56

Yeah, I'd like that part. Two things I cannot change like that, naming it, the addressing already is a sense of humility and it's also ego deflating very, because it addresses the fact that I have limitations. You know, when I say things I cannot change, when I have like really big ego, I don't even want to say that that there are things that I cannot change. I don't accept it because I can change everything, so that that wording already is very powerful about Limitations, that there are things outside of my control. That also means that I am Dependent on other people to live in this world like there is a coexistence. I cannot produce electric city, you know I need that. That's something that I cannot do it on my own.

Speaker 1: 19:39

So there's a sense of like Welcoming again, of like opening up that things I cannot change, as in yes, you know, I accept that in the book 12-step, the big book talks about Sometimes we try to be the director of our play and that doesn't work out too well and we're just one player in this, this play of life. So when we try to direct everything, that's often when my experience things go south because I try to Control people, places and things that I actually do not have control over.

Speaker 2: 20:14

Yeah, and one other thing too, which is kind of a philosophical thing that I've thought about a long time ago, which is kind of originated in Buddhism. When we're talking about like things I cannot change, like I cannot also change the process of change. So in Buddhism there is that concept everything is changing, everything is impermanent. But then that statement is this outside of impermanence. So that was like a philosophical debate that if everything is changing.

Speaker 2: 20:41

The fact that everything is changing will be changing too, but that's not true. It is outside of the realm. So, like things, I cannot change also means that I cannot change the process of change. Things are going to move on, people are going to die, relationships are going to, you know, go away eventually. There's also an acceptance of looking at the process of change.

Speaker 1: 22:17

Change has a constant. The constant is change. Yeah, we could go mad over it or we can accept it. I I am a big believer that I can't change my first thought or my first emotion. That if I had the power not to think of my first thought or what to change my first emotion, I think I'm got this level of powerlessness over that. Maybe I'm powerless over my second thought. I'm certainly not powerless over my third thought and emotion. Maybe not my second thought and emotion, but that first one I know I'm powerless over. I know that I can't stop myself for the most part and I think everybody knows what I'm getting at, that If Zoll looks at me and calls me an asshole, I am powerless over my first thought and emotion behind that. But the beauty of you know recovery coaching and life coaching that you do and therapy that I do with my clients that helping people with their second, third, fourth thoughts and emotions and getting a sense of whether it's control or peace with their third, fourth, fifth thoughts and emotions and ultimately behaviors and actions and reactions is is a doing to help people, to help people with.

Speaker 1: 23:39

But that first one can't stop. That. One Can't stop that first thought, first emotion and, in addition to the thoughts and emotions, just the can't change, unpredictable future events. Boy, we would like to change the future. Sometimes we would like to change the past. We can't. How do we focus on the present and identify the things we can and can't change with the present Buddhist perspective on that? Yeah, it's all in the present moment, but also, um, it makes me take responsibility too.

Speaker 2: 24:17

I have no control over the future that I cannot change. Not only I cannot change, I cannot even see you know what's going to happen, but it kind of motivates me to focus on what I can do in this moment. So, um, yeah, do you want to keep going? I think it's good to kind of seal.

Speaker 1: 24:40

It's amazing how good we think we are at predicting the future. It's amazing how good we think our fear is going to be so accurate about our future and future endeavors. If we're that good at predicting the future, we'd all be very well off and rich. But we're just not that good at it. We're just not, and partially because for a lot, of us, our fears and our present are affecting our future and ever's, and we help a lot of people with that type of anxiety and concern and catastrophizing and things like that.

Speaker 1: 25:17

So let's move on to the next part, Courage. I think that word we should, we should hit comes from the Latin word core, C-O-R. Meaning heart and the courage, except the things I cannot change. And the heart, the courage to know the, to know the difference right and to ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty. That takes courage, doesn't it? Whoever came out with this prayer is very, very wise.

Speaker 2: 25:55

Yes, because there is something that just makes you feel like you're wise, because there is something that just revealed to me just now about how different a prayer could be if that sequences switch. God, grant me the, grant me the serenity, the courage to change the things I can, and then the acceptance to you know, things like that, like that would be so different, but like there's some kind of ego being deflated already, starting with things that cannot change and that only then the heart and the courage and the confidence comes that okay, what are the things that I can change? So it just dawned on me about the intentional sequence of starting with things that I cannot change and then courage later, as opposed to I have this courage, I'm going to change all these things out there, so a little bit of things that I cannot change, but it's not that way.

Speaker 1: 26:47

I think it takes. It can take courage to realize the things that I can't change. It takes heart to realize the things that I don't have control over, that I thought or I wish or I wanted to have control over. And that can take heart, that can take vulnerability. So, yeah, I mean it takes courage because we can have, we touched upon fear of the unknown, courage to change the things I can. It can take, change, introduce, introduces uncertainty. If there's uncertainty, well, yeah, I think I should do it with heart. To do it with I mean, let's think it, it comes from the word heart. I think that's so powerful to go from the head to the heart. It takes a lot of courage to lead with that way.

Speaker 2: 27:47

The source of life. Yeah, that kind of re-emphasized the very first word of the prayer too, about God, that whatever the say of the prayer is understanding what God is. But this courage is also empowered by the addressing of that God.

Speaker 1: 28:04

If.

Speaker 2: 28:04

I'm just saying I have this courage. Where is it coming from? Is it coming from my ego? Is it coming from my intellect? Is it coming from my mastery over physical abilities? It connects back to the God being addressed in the beginning that where am I getting the power from? Where am I getting the courage from? That's good. So there's that setup already in the beginning about ego deflation addressing to something greater, and then that power comes through this heart.

Speaker 1: 28:31

Yeah, if we allow the ego deflation, the humility it allows a room for the heart, allows even more room for that power, that higher power, the God, yeah, well said. So let's say a couple more things, that why it takes courage to change these things. Well, we said that it changes, introduces uncertainty. With change, there's a risk of failure, isn't there that it involves a risk. If I'm having the courage to change the things I can, well, there's a risk that I might, I can't. There's potential setbacks, there's obstacles and challenges, so there's a chance that it won't change. So I need some courage, I need some heart to be OK that it might not change.

Speaker 2: 29:35

That's pretty deep. There is comfort in the predictability, there's comfort in the stability. So I don't want that to change. So that's why they say it requires more effort to remain the same than to allow the change to occur. Because if I like this job and if I'm comfortable, even if there is a greater job, I'm like, yeah, I'm comfortable, I don't want to change, but then I'm missing out too. So that's a good point about the courage, that taking a risk, taking some kind of a healthy risk, and letting go of that and trusting that, yeah, this is part of growth.

Speaker 1: 30:21

And for my experience it might be a perceived risk. I don't. It goes back to the beginning. God, grant me, allow me, give me. I'm humbly asking some peace of mind, calmness of mind and this unknown and this uncertainty and this change and the courage and the power, the higher power, the heart, to change the things I can. And there's vulnerability in that and it may require exposure and these new situations and ideas leading to a sense of vulnerability, and that's not comfortable. Vulnerability often has a negative connotation. Why am I in this situation? Oh, I need courage.

Speaker 2: 31:05

Yeah, yeah, this part really dispels the sense of victimhood too, or sense of like passive being passive. When I address it like courage to change, it's just taking responsibility. That what is it I can do in this moment? There are choices. I have this ability to move my body. I have this ability, hopefully, to change my thought, change my attitude. So, yeah, there's a lot of empowerment in this part of the prayer.

Speaker 1: 31:36

I frequently let people know and recovery is often a vulnerable process for a lot of people and they fear that they're going to have to change things that they don't want to change, and I often give them the perspective, the idea, that I don't want you to change things that don't serve you and I don't want you to change things that are going awesome and are healthy in your life. Keep that good. I don't want to change that in you, Don't you want to change the things that don't serve you and are leading to relapse and lack of peace and lack of serenity and lack of enjoyment in your life? I mean, that's the stuff that I want to help you change and I just want to help you identify what that actually is. Oh, and that can be empowering and freeing and give people a sense of peace and calmness and tranquility and serenity.

Speaker 1: 32:34

But people often have this fear that change isn't going to be good. Well, no, keep the good stuff. I don't want you to change that. I just want to change the things that A are leading you to relapse and B are taking serenity out of your life. Well, that sounds palatable. Ok, let's get vulnerable with that.

Speaker 2: 32:55

Yeah, yeah, keep the ones that are good for you, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 32:58

Let's identify some things that we can change. We can change behavioral patterns. We can change unhealthy coping skills. With healthy coping skills we can change an attitude and perspective. I don't want the tunnel vision that's keeping me in the level of the problem. We have a whole episode on contracted awareness and expanded awareness. We can change how we communicate in a healthier way. We can change personal boundaries. Boundaries are for us, aren't for the other people. That can be a healthy change. We can change career paths that better align with our passions and our goals. We can change lifestyle choices that no longer serve us in a healthy way. There's all we can change our second, third, fourth, fifth thought and emotion. There's plenty of things that we do have the ability to change, don't you agree?

Speaker 2: 33:51

Yeah, and from the point of view of mindfulness and meditation, what's true is that we can also change what we pay attention to. That it's also very empowering about what am I paying attention to right now and then becoming aware of it. As soon as I become aware of it, I have a choice to what else should I pay attention to? So that's also another thing that's very helpful for people in recovery that choosing what I pay attention to, but first becoming aware of oh, this is what's occupying my mind. Let me focus on reading, Let me focus on my posture, Let me focus on saying this prayer over and over again, Like that ability to change our thoughts, to change our attention towards something more positive, is also something that we can change.

Speaker 1: 34:42

Love that a lot. Courage should change the things we can. And often my favorite part of this whole prayer and the wisdom to know the difference. I think that can be the hardest thing a lot of times To have the wisdom, the wherewithal to identify the things that I can change and the things that I can't. And how often, when I lack serenity, when I lack peace of mind, calmness of mind, the issue is I'm trying to control or change something that I don't actually have the ability to control.

Speaker 1: 35:18

How often is it myself will run riot. How often is it a resentment that things aren't being controlled the way I want them to? So that wisdom and the wisdom and we're asking grant me, allow me to have the wisdom, the wherewithal, the courage to identify that I have the wisdom to know the difference between the things that I can and can't control. That's how I look at it To know the difference and accept the difference between the things that I can and can't change or the things that I can and can't control. And when I have that wisdom and that acceptance and that realization whether it's an aha, a light bulb, a spiritual experience of the educational variety that is freeing, that it gives me internal peace. A lot of times that gives me acceptance and to have that wisdom.

Speaker 1: 36:18

I can not only learn from my mistakes, but I think it's also wisdom that I can have that realization from other people's experiences too. That I don't have to learn just from things that I can and can't control, that I can hear from other people's experiences and have peace and serenity and calmness from other people. That's wisdom too.

Speaker 2: 36:48

Yeah, that's also my favorite part of the prayer and from a Buddhist perspective too, that's like the most Buddhist part of the prayer too, when we're talking about wisdom, which to me is some kind of a discernment ability to differentiate between what's true and what's false, what's right, what's wrong, Like an intuitive knowledge, intuitive feeling of that wisdom, which I really equate wisdom with serenity.

Speaker 2: 37:13

I equate wisdom with calmness because when somebody is wise, he's serene, because he knows the truth, but also that I think the other thing that I like to emphasize on is about the fact that this is not a one-time prayer. It's a muscle memory that I have to keep doing over and over again. The wisdom is not granted. I'm good, it's more like I feel at it. I learn more about the things that I thought I can change and realize I cannot. There's a lot of learning that happens by repeating Constant change, constant change in my life.

Speaker 1: 37:46

So the repetition and tension and for me not being complacent on this, to have the wisdom to activate this again and make this conscious again in a spiritual way is important for me.

Speaker 2: 38:04

And one final thought about that wisdom, or just the whole prayer in general from the mindfulness and meditation point of view, is also my understanding of the mind, based on my practice, is that the mind always grieve for pleasure. If there is pleasure, I want more. The mind is always chasing after that. But also if there is pain, I want to avoid it against it. So this prayer, especially those contrasts between what I cannot change and what I can change, gives me that wisdom of oh, is it a thought that I should meet with nonattachment? So if it's pleasure, it's okay to accept it if I look at it from a nonattachable point of view, or is it something that I should meet with compassion?

Speaker 2: 38:47

So, like practicing that over and over again gives builds that wisdom, that, oh, that's a very judgmental, negative self-talk that I'm having, so I should Treat it with compassion. Or, oh, this is a success that I'm taking pride in. I can look at it with non attachment, Not more.

Speaker 1: 39:04

You know that that's also a good guiding principle behind the thoughts that wisdom and I'll say it this way in this part of this serenity prayer, because this is only the first half, I'll read the second half in a second is it's own. People say use the tools in the toolbox. We were able to break down and decipher so many Skill sets and tools that you can use at different parts and different ways in this prayer. It's just full of, depending with what you're going through, where you're at, what part of this prayer you can apply in your life the humbling part, the turning over part, the accepting part, the, you name it. It's just Full of coping skills throughout this whole thing. So if you guys don't mind, I'll read the, the, and I think the second part of this prayers Just as impactful as the first part. I'll read the whole thing.

Speaker 1: 40:03

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and Supremely happy with you forever in the next Amen, and you can replace Jesus for higher power or God or whatever you want to do, but Accepting hardship as a pathway to pathway to peace, well, we could break that down, couldn't we?

Speaker 1: 40:51

Yeah, pain is a good teacher there's a silver lining and and anything can be a change in acceptance, a growth aspect. Taking this unfold as it is another acceptance moment, not as I would have it, being able to See things for how they are, not as necessarily that I would if I was the director of play. This is how I would do it, trusting that you, this higher power, will make things all right if I turn my will over to you. Right? That's a lot of third step in that, in that belief, so may, so that I may be recently reasonably happy in this life and, to print me, happy with you forever in the next. Pretty powerful, yeah, pretty powerful. Well, what do you think?

Speaker 2: 41:47

It's good, yeah, it's good that word, we talk about it and, yeah, I really believe in the power of repetition, the power of prayer. They're just energy trapped in words, you know, or in statements. For me that I come from that tradition of the oral tradition, so I pay really attention to the, the sounds, but also the energy that unpacked from those sounds. So sometimes, like when I say the serenity prayer, that's like my identity or identification with people in recovery, you know. So if I think about whoever has said the serenity prayer in the entire history or even in this moment right now, there's power in there and I pay attention to that energy.

Speaker 1: 42:28

Yeah, so healing energy, spiritual energy.

Speaker 2: 42:33

Yeah, when you're even reading that, you know, I started feeling the power behind that. I started imagining, yeah, all the meetings that I've been to, people that I've said the prayer together with, and people that I've heard the prayer from, like everything's all packed in that moment. I think it takes less than 10 seconds, right? Do you see the whole prayer? Or even, depending on how fast you say it? So, yeah, I have a friend in recovery who always says that Prayer is great because it doesn't cost you any money and you can do it at any time freebie and won't anywhere freebie I'll send.

Speaker 1: 43:09

Well, as we conclude this enlightening explanation of the serenity prayer, we hope you found valuable insights that resonate with your personal journey. Remember, the serenity prayer isn't just a collection of words, like we're saying, it's a guiding philosophy that can empower you in the face of life's challenges. Some of the key takeaways acceptance, embracing the things you cannot change. Finding peace and surrendering to the natural flow of life. Courage, like we talked about some in the bravery to change what you can, recognizing the transformative power that lies within and that wisdom, cultivate the discernment To know the difference, fostering a deep understanding of your path and purpose. So take a moment to reflect on how acceptance, courage and wisdom can shape your responses to life's twists and turns. Consider incorporating these principles into your daily practices, empowering yourself to navigate challenges with grace. Thank you for joining us in this journey of self-discovery and mindfulness. If you found value in today's episode, we invite you to share it with others who might benefit.

Speaker 1: 44:13

Don't forget to subscribe For more transformative content. As you step back into the rhythm of your day, carry the spirit of the serenity with you. Remember, every challenge is an opportunity for growth and within you lies the power to create positive change. So until next time, stay serene and stay empowered. Subscribe, share and continue your journey to more serene and intentional life. Thank you for being part of the recovery collective and the therapist Buddhist in you. My name is Luke DeBoer and this is all.

Speaker 2: 44:43

Thank you all for listening.

Speaker 1: 44:45

See you in a month.