A Therapist, A Buddhist, and You
A Therapist, A Buddhist, and You
A Solution to Every Unsolvable Problem: Expanded Awareness
Ever felt stuck or bogged down by a problem that seems impossible to resolve, no matter what action or attempt to find a solution? What if we told you that every predicament has a resolution waiting to be discovered? We navigate through Deepak Chopra's three phases of awareness, starting with the concept of 'contracted awareness.' We uncover how this state can trigger feelings of being confined in our problems, manifesting as physical and emotional symptoms. This episode encourages us to turn inwards, harness the power of positive thinking, and expand our awareness.
We all carry a set of assumptions that shape our perspectives and expectations, but have you ever stopped to question them? We can achieve a profound shift in our outlook by challenging these norms. Our brains are wired to fill in the gaps when confronted with the unknown, often leading to unhealthy expectations. While this can spark resentment, the wisdom of Buddhist principles provides us with a road map to manage these expectations and diffuse potential conflict.
As we dig deeper, we unravel the spiritual power of feelings and breath, exploring how our belief systems and personal values influence our emotional responses. Challenging someone's core beliefs can provoke anger and defensiveness, as these beliefs are intertwined with their identities. We provide actionable insights on navigating these situations, fostering a more understanding and peaceful dialogue. Finally, we delve into the transformative power of awareness, breath, and love – keys that unlock a higher level of consciousness. So, plug in your headphones and join us on this enlightening journey to self-discovery, spiritual growth, and Solutions!
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Welcome to a therapist, a Buddhist and you, brought to you by the recovery collective in Annapolis, maryland. My name is Luke Duboy and I'm here with Zalma, my co-host. Hey, luke, what's going on? Maybe we should say our co-host, because it's a therapist, a Buddhist and you, yeah. So we've got our our listeners here today. So I want to explore. Well, before we explore our topic. Last episode I didn't really talk about people liking subscribing, but now that we literally have thousands of lessons and downloads pretty wild it's hard for me to wrap my head around thousands.
Speaker 2:It's crazy.
Speaker 1:I do want to go back to looking at some of the statistics that almost 70% of our listeners all are from Apple. So the neat thing about you Apple listeners out there and thank you for listening Again, we do appreciate it. Apple has an advantage in terms of helping us with there's these stars, and you can give us four or five stars. Five stars if you really like us. If you don't want to give us five stars, just you know, fast forward 10 seconds.
Speaker 1:But Apple, unlike some of the other platforms, gives you an opportunity to leave a customer review. So if, in your heart, you're so desired to thank us in any way, please give us a review. And since 70% of you guys are doing it in Apple and we have thousands of listeners, we would love to see a couple more ratings and, most importantly, reviews. And, of course, I think the best thing you can do is, if you've found some of the things that we are saying and the topics we're focusing on, as we're talking about all things health and wellness please share it. Please share this podcast with other potential listeners, because that's how we've been organically growing to thousands of listeners. So we appreciate that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's great and yes, you've mentioned earlier, before you started recording, that we've been doing this for more than half a year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we just sit just over the half a year mark. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love it in a way that this is kind of like part of my routine now and I got a lot. I get a lot out of this and it's also like unfolding very naturally, which has been great. I do listen to it just to like see where we're. At late night I usually have a long drive after putting the kids to sleep at their grandparents and I listen to it and I'll say, oh, wow, you know, there's like a growth from January to here and how we evolve and guess we've. Yeah, it's quite, quite remarkable. So I'm really glad that we get to do this.
Speaker 1:I've been hesitant. We're getting more listeners is the more we release episodes and the topics we're talking about, and more and more people are checking out their first episode. What a therapist a Buddhist and you can do for you. Forget what the title is called, but I'm almost nervous to listen to ourselves on that first episode. But I'll have to go back and listen because people are interested.
Speaker 1:So thank you guys for listening, even if you don't leave a review or a rating. Thanks for listening and please share. Please share, yeah, thank you. So the topic today I'm going to ask you a question and then we'll go back to who has spoken on this topic, but kind of the essence of what we're talking about is all do you believe that every problem is open to a spiritual solution?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a very good question and the answer is yes for me, which comes with. The premise is that in my belief I don't know if this is just my personal belief or a Buddhist belief, I'm not sure but the scene world come from the unseen. So the visible world comes from the invisible that I don't have access to 100%. So the other way is true, that if there's a problem, it's coming from the unseen world, so that problem can be solved with the spiritual solution.
Speaker 1:I can resonate with that so much when you say the answer can come from the unseen. So often when I have a problem, it's not the tangible kind of hey, there's a pothole, it's not falling to the pothole, go around it. Yes, those things still happen to me, but often my answers or my solutions are from the unseen, which we'll talk about for sure. So there's this fella as spiritual in nature, I would say, and his name is Deepak Chopra, for those of you who don't know who he is. He's certainly a prominent figure in the field of holistic health, alternative medicine, spirituality, meditation, personal development and goes on and on and on. And he's an Indian American, author, physician and really big and influential, one of the influential voices in the mind body wellness movement. And that's certainly something that we do here at the Recovery Collective, with looking at individuals integratively and holistically, functionally, with the mind, body and spiritual connection. So he believes there's three phases of awareness and we're going to connect this to spiritual solutions potentially.
Speaker 1:And the first level of awareness he calls it contracted awareness. Contraction, contracted awareness the visual I often give people when they're in this level of awareness. If I contract my bicep Right now, I'm making like a bicep curl fist and I'm putting resistance on my fist with the other arm to make sure that my bicep's still contracted. And if I hold this bicep contraction for minutes, potentially hours, you just observing what's going to happen to this contraction in my arm. If I continue to stay in contraction, there's going to be a strain.
Speaker 2:Yep At the bicep we're at.
Speaker 1:Yep, soreness, what else is going to happen? Fatigue, yeah, not only with the bicep, but I got all these other muscles that are working and stabilizing and are beginning to contract too. So even if I stop having it contracted or Allah the problem I'm going to feel it residually in other places, so much so if it stays contracted for too long, even when I do get out of that contraction, I might feel it for days afterwards. So that's a visible way to talk about what we mean by contracted awareness. And another way I explain it. It's that limited consciousness and when someone comes, whether it's a family member, whether someone comes to therapy, someone at work and it's the example I often give is man, I keep that asshole boss. No matter where I work, I always have an asshole boss. Another example of contracted awareness could be gosh, no matter how responsible I am with money, I keep getting in these financial issues or in debt, or I just man, things keep happening and I just keep having issues with money.
Speaker 1:What are some other examples that come to your mind when you think of contracted awareness?
Speaker 2:Yeah, first of all, this is very interesting because I feel I'm listening and almost interviewing you on this topic and I have a limited knowledge of this individual, but I'm very curious about this topic, so I'm glad we're talking about it. But yeah, contracted awareness, what comes to mind is that the narrow or channel vision or limited reality and being limited to what I believe, what I see, and then just the world ending there. That's it, nothing beyond that.
Speaker 1:It's when we feel stuck in something, it's when we feel trapped or, like you said, our perceptions are narrowed and restricted. Our thoughts and emotions are just keeping us into the level of the problem. So if you ever doubt, wait a minute, am I in contracted awareness? Right now, in doing group work, people would talk about their problems and sometimes someone would give them a perspective. And then the first person he said man, I keep getting in these toxic relationships and I don't know why, or why do I always pick these asshole partners? And then someone might give a perspective or their experience, and their first response is yeah, but that's not in this case. Or someone gives another perspective and they go.
Speaker 1:I tried that. Well, that won't work, because I know these are examples of no matter what we do, no matter what action we take, we feel like we're just digging a deeper hole, and that's definitely a parameter of am I in contracted awareness? Well, if you're frustrated and you feel like you are doing action and you feel like you're just digging a deeper hole, well, that's an example of contracted awareness.
Speaker 1:It sucks, we can feel that way with we talked about it in terms of relationships with work, with finances, with our mental health. Most people feel they're in that stuck and that suck, with anxiety or depression and, no matter what I'm doing, I just can't get out of this. So I think we can all relate to different aspects of being in contracted awareness. We want to get out of the stuck and suck.
Speaker 1:Deepak talks about shifting our consciousness from the level of the problem to the level of solution. So we want to go from the level of the problem to a whole different viewpoint. He calls this expanded awareness. The belief is we have to change these five things and if we change these five things, we're able to go from problem to solution. You ready to hear them out? Yeah, so we'll talk about these five things, we'll break them down and then we go okay, and how do we actually? We know what these five things are and how do we make that change? So the five things that we move towards expanded awareness, perspective, assumptions, expectations, beliefs and feelings, or mood or feelings.
Speaker 1:So these things are interconnected elements and if we do that if we change these five things, then we go from problem to solution. Let's break them down. What do you know about perspective? What is a perspective? Why is that important? You talked about this already, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is like my upbringing information that I've received beliefs that are built over the years, or basically, unexamined beliefs that I never questioned. So that's what comes to mind about perspectives, a viewpoint that was never really questioned, but also, at the same time, it's not really my fault that I have this, because it's because of all the information that were given to me up until this point, which was never challenged. That's that's what comes to mind about perspective.
Speaker 1:If I'm in once again, let's all feel being in the problem and that sucks. If my perspective is you were doing me wrong and dirty, well, I don't have to take accountability. If my perspective is you wronged me or I can't get out of this, well, we're going to. We're going to continue to fill that perspective and put energy towards that perspective. Here's an example.
Speaker 1:I do couples work and or family work sometimes, and often with, let's say, addictions. We have a client that just got out of treatment and we have a family member or a husband or a spouse, and often there is an argument and the argument is the spouse sees one thing and the client sees another and early recovery, and I begin to butt heads. Their perspectives are different. So often what I try to do is I go a little time out, take a little pause, we stop for a second and I go Johnny boy, you're here because you want to get sober, right? No, okay, good, sally, may, you're here because you want to take care of yourself and also support his recovery, right? Oh good. So we have the same perspective on that that you want to get sober and you want to support him and protect yourself in this recovery process. Everybody see eye-eye on that Great. So there's a starting point in terms of seeing out of a similar lens.
Speaker 1:Often when we're in the level of the problem you guys can't see me at home, but it's like a racehorse with blinders my perception is my reality. So when my perception is you're the problem, when my perception is it won't get better, well, it can be hard to change that if we stay in that level of consciousness, stay in that level of the problem. Often I throw a book down on the table and I ask someone where's the front of that book? And they say it's the cover. And then someone might say, well, no, it's the top of the book. And someone might actually open up and say, well, this is the front of the book, meaning what? They're all right, but if you're stuck in your perspective, then the other person's wrong and you don't have the flexibility to change yourself.
Speaker 2:So problem to the solution. I like what you're saying, especially because that makes me appreciate conflicts and problems, because when I have a perspective and if things are just going great with that, I never challenge it. But if there is a conflict in relation to that perspective, it becomes an opportunity for me to be like oh, is there a cost to this? What is this perspective costing me? Am I losing my happiness? Am I losing relationships? Am I losing money? Whatever it may be. So it becomes like an opportunity to examine that perspective. Is it actually doing me any good? Maybe it has done me good so far, but maybe it's time for me to let it go or look at it from a different point of view. So that's what I'm hearing about perspective and I do want to go back to like.
Speaker 2:This is not really the theme of it, but what I understand as a Buddhist, in my Buddhist world, is just the fact that, from the point of view of the karma, that it's not my fault when I have these perspectives, because it can even dig into the deeper hole that.
Speaker 2:Why am I this way? So, because in our tradition there are like causes and conditions. I was talking to my mom about this. She's been taking some Abhidhamma classes, which is a Buddhist philosophy or Buddhist psychology classes, and we're just talking and she was just making a comment about what she's learned in the class is that, let's say we were talking and then she was like if you look to a flower that you see, like for that flower to come into your consciousness, to your eyes, a lot of millions and millions of factors get involved for it to happen and these senses meet and it happens. So same thing was true with these perspectives that there are just so many things that I have no control over which came together for me to have this perspective. So in a way, I am kind of it's not my fault that I come here, but at the same time, I'm responsible to challenge that if it's causing me more problems than not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well said. And one of the things that make changing a perspective challenging to change is the next thing assumptions. Now, I know English isn't your first language, but have you ever heard of the saying of what they say about assumptions?
Speaker 2:What is?
Speaker 1:it. Assumptions comes from the word assume and if we do assumptions it makes an ass out of you and me. Gotcha play of words. So play of words, but it's a legitimate one. When do we make assumptions? There's a reason in a physiological. Is it physiological? There's a brain reason why we make assumptions. Why do we make assumptions?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know about the brain too much, but I do know that brain has a tendency to fill in the gaps.
Speaker 1:If it doesn't know, it just make it up, yep.
Speaker 1:So one way to look at it is and we've talked about this we have. What separates us as a species in a lot of ways is this thing in the front of our head called the cerebral cortex, which literally means we get to forward think. So we forward, think, just like you said, to fill in the gaps. So when we're cavemen and I have to decide, do I have to protect my kids and my fire from the saber tooth or this lion or this bear, oh my. So I have to make an assumption. Now. It's evolved over the years and when there's this level of unknown, we fill in the gap, sometimes incorrectly. Now we're in the level of the problem. If we're making assumptions that fuel the perspective of I don't have the power that I'd like to that. It's Josh Moe's fault that I wasn't wrong that you see what I'm getting at. Assumptions can fuel and have unhealthy perspective. Assumptions can keep the gap of uncertainty in an unhealthy way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not based on facts, but it's based on opinions or projections, speculations, fear yeah.
Speaker 1:So we've got two things so far. We've got when we're in the level of the problem. We need to find a way to change our perspective, our assumptions, expectations what a fun one Expectations. In the recovery community you'll hear people say that our expectations are inversely proportional to our serenity, meaning if I have less expectations on people, places and things, the more peace of mind, calmness of mind and serenity I have. The more expectations that aren't met, the less peace of mind and serenity I have. Any experience with that? Yeah, lots Me too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it goes back to that thing again. Like my existence in this world, my brain has a navigational system to determine where I'm at. So in a way it's functioned, but at the same time it comes with some defects, some loopholes. So if I think about expectations, it comes from a programming of what has happened before. So this has happened before, it always happened that way. So I'm going to expect this to happen, based on what has happened before. But at the same time that becomes like a fuel for that contracted awareness, because I'm like limited to my past. What has happened, so it's going to be exactly the same way, and I have expectations out of this. But life is new every day. It's not the same, even the breath that.
Speaker 2:I breathe, just now, in the next moment, everything's new. So if I'm operating from that expectations and limited, I'm kind of missing the beauty of the beauty of the life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think expectations can sometimes fuel depression, anxiety, fear, a lot of these things. I often break down expectations in two forms positive expectations and negative expectations. So positive expectations are based on desire, want, buddhist language cravings. Negative expectations are based on fear, and me, as a recovering alcoholic addict, I think I often ran with positive and negative expectations at the same time. I want this to happen, in my fear that it's not going to happen. So I had like a double whammy of expectations which often led to resentments. What you can't read my mind. You should know that I want you to bring home dinner tonight and you didn't meet that expectation. Because I didn't communicate that, because I made an assumption that you would know. But that was just my perspective.
Speaker 1:See what I'm getting at how these things compound on each other, so expectations can be challenging for a lot of people Knowing for you as long as I have, there's certainly a lot of Buddhist principles that help with expectations.
Speaker 2:An example. Are you asking for an example?
Speaker 1:You do seem to have a lot of I called you the salt and no serenity for a reason. A couple of episodes back.
Speaker 2:I'm a human being. I struggle with expectations a lot. Yeah, that is for sure. It has so much power over my well-being negatively when I have expectations, because it is as if I know, and I'm trying to relate that with meditation and Buddhist principle.
Speaker 1:But that's really coming to mind. I'll relate it to 12-step principles. The first three steps are a wonderful way of counteracting expectations. Well, if I desire one something, whether it's drugs, alcohol, whether it's sex, whether it's a race, whatever it is I can control the things that I can. But there's a lot of it that I am powerless over. If I've got a felony charge, I have a desire not to go to jail. So I did the probation, I did the treatment, I did all those things, but I am powerless over what that judge decides to do. Now I can go batshit crazy, worrying that I'm going to get three months of jail time.
Speaker 1:But step two says let me decide to turn our will in our life over to the care of God as we understood him. Well, what do I understand? Step three I decide to turn it over, and if I do so I might get some serenity out of the deal. So I work backwards. Step three says made a decision to turn our will in our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. So if I turn my will, if I go, here's my expectations I turn it over to the higher power. I just turn it over. Well, why do I do that Because it's going to help me with step two, that I believe that this power is going to restore me to sanity and my favorite way of defining sanity is serenity comes from my peace of mind.
Speaker 1:Well, if my expectations are whether it's fear of me going to jail or fear of me or my desire not to go to jail positive and negative that okay, if I do my part, I'll turn it over. My higher power is going to take care of me and, whatever the unmanageability and perilousness is with the legal situation, I don't have unhealthy expectations. There's a difference between healthy boundaries and expectations, and I imagine there's some people listening, whether they're in the car or driving home from work or working out and going. What's the difference between expectations and healthy boundaries? Well, they can be the same. Sure, let's look at this in a way that's fueling contracted awareness. Let's look at this in terms of what expectation or unhealthy boundary is fueling the level of the problem, and that's what we need to change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to jump ahead, but it's already projecting towards what's coming, you know, because the expectation, the best way to tackle that, is that what do I even know? Like anything is possible. Kind of feeling that because, yeah, it is true, right In your situation, what you have said about the legal system and I have multiple examples in my own life too, where, like, how am I even sure that this is going to happen? Like because there are just so many factors that are unseen, so anything is possible in this moment kind of feeling is the opposite.
Speaker 1:I remember being in front of that judge, language from the heart, speaking from the heart and just realizing I did everything in my power that I could for my health and my recovery and I was looking at three months of jail time. But I had this calmness and peace and I didn't have any expectations and my lawyer believed that I was going to do some jail time. But I was open to whatever. I didn't have any expectations. I was at peace. I didn't have it. I wasn't run by desire or fear. I was in a level of quote-unquote, radical acceptance. I was at peace. I didn't have a unhealthy desire or fear and I was okay with the unmanageability in that position.
Speaker 2:Luckily I didn't do any jail time.
Speaker 1:All right, let's go to the next one. So we've done perspective, assumptions, expectations, and now we're on beliefs. So the way I explain beliefs is I try to give it even more depth, more meaning that everybody has core beliefs. And I'll say it in another way what I believe is is often perceived as who I am. So if you challenge my core belief system, you're going to piss me off. That makes sense. Yeah, and we see a lot of that now. We see that divisiveness with politics and other things going on now and people are really good at divisiveness and separating and focusing on the differences.
Speaker 1:And if you challenge my belief system, I'm going to be angry at you, because do you know what I mean by that? What I believe is who I am. Do you know what I mean by that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a form of identity. Who?
Speaker 2:do I think I am, yeah, and yeah I mean. All these things are quite interconnected assumptions, perspective, beliefs, expectations, which for me as a Buddhist, goes back to that concept of anatta, which is the absence of self. If I start listing everything I think I am, the more I do that, the more I realize that wait, who am I? Really? Kind of feeling. But these beliefs are what keeps us in a society, who I think I am, as an identity, national identity, religious identity, whatever it is, but I hold on to it because that's how I exist, this is who I am, but it's also, at the same time, can be costly, especially if there is an event or a race, an event or somebody who challenged that. I get offended.
Speaker 1:And I don't think I'm going out in a limb when I say that everybody has prejudice. Now, I am a social worker. I was raised by a Methodist preacher. My dad and I have a beard and long hair, but I promise you I'm not Jesus. But my point being, even though I was brought up in this, you know, honest, open, loving, accepting people for who they are, not as I would have them, type of environment and went into a service-oriented field. Every human being has prejudice. And why is that important to bring up? Because you know I've got belief systems that need to be changed. I'll give you a great example, being as if you've listened to any episodes I'll have to bring up.
Speaker 1:I was a former clinical director of a treatment facility. And then these people I'm often dealing with, individuals that have done six to eight tours in Iraq, iran and Afghanistan, and they come to this treatment facility and then they're there for substance use and mental health and there's this guy sitting there that's telling them when to go, where to go, except everything, except when to go to the bathroom. And then we bring up the steps and this person that's done six to eight tours, who's very decorated, and then he looks at the steps. That says you are powerless over drugs and alcohol. Your life had become unmanageable. Surrender to win. Do you think that's even in his vocabulary? Hell, no.
Speaker 1:So he had an understandable belief system that. No, that's a negative connotation. I don't know how you expect me to get sober through the steps. Totally get it. But it was neat because part of the perspective that the group gave him. He says man, we're not worried about the things that you can manage Rock on, we're worried about the things that you can't manage, the stuff that you not the stuff that you have control over and power over. You keep that. You keep that power and manageability. We want to help you with the stuff that you realize that you don't have control over.
Speaker 1:And it was just like one of those light bulb moments of oh, I'm not waving the white flag in the sense of, yes, you can have all of me, good and bad, but I'm not giving you the things that are rocking and rolling good in my life, I'm just turning over the parts that I can't control the way I want to. And it was just like this freeing moment for him his perspective change all of a sudden, the negative connotation of unmanageability and powerlessness and turning, is you know, all of his will over. And it was just a really neat experience to see like, all of a sudden, expectations, beliefs, all began to change a little bit and he became open to 12 steps, just from other people's experiences and other people's perspectives. It was, it was powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, this is a good topic and I do want to mention, to kind of like putting in, some Buddhist thoughts about the fact that nothing is all or nothing, you know.
Speaker 2:I have to step away from that all or nothing kind of way of thinking, because it's okay to have these expectations, perspectives, because it makes me function in the world. You know In our that that dried out Buddhism called Abhidharma, which has translated us the higher teachings of Buddhism, which is like a Buddhist philosophy, psychology, and there are some elements which I'll just simplify is that there's a conventional truth and ultimate truth. So it's very important to identify those two, because conventional truth, for example, can be like Luke, you will ask me, how did you get here to the office? I'll be like, yeah, I came here with a car. So that's a conventional truth.
Speaker 2:When I say car because we had an agreement about car. But then when you ask me, what is the car? Is it the wheel, is it the steering, is it the engine? There's no such thing as car. But it helps me to communicate to you that, yeah, this is how I got here. But then if you ask me, like, what is the car? I have no answer, you know. But then the ultimate truth is more of like gravity, that it doesn't care if it's somebody jumps off the really high building. It doesn't matter how tall, small, you know, what race, it doesn't matter. There's a ultimate truth to it, so just wanted to mention that. I think we'll probably end up talking about that when we get to the expended awareness. I feel like that's where things open up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the belief systems that are fueling contracted awareness. It's the expectations that are fueling the problem and being able to go or question and we'll break that down here in a little bit Is this fueling the problem? We'll jump more on that in a second. And the last thing feelings. I think don't think this is a hot take. Maybe it is. I think feelings are spiritual. I'll ask it in this way too, zao, do you know what I mean and do you believe feelings are spiritual?
Speaker 2:Yeah, emotions, feelings, they're spontaneous, so I would say spiritual, and also they are unseen in a way.
Speaker 1:They come out of nowhere.
Speaker 2:So I feel like that's what you mean by spiritual that it is alive and it is electric. There is charge to it. That's how I think about emotions, feelings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we asked in the beginning does every problem have a spiritual solution? And the word spirituality can have a thousand different definitions. Two potential definitions are there's a rhyme or reason why things happen the way they do, so, even though they're spontaneous? There might be a reason why we feel the things we do. I also believe that there's this level of in terms of recovery, language powerlessness behind the initial feeling. If you were to cuss me out and call me an asshole, I might get angry. Now I might not be able to stop that first emotion or that second emotion Now not parallelist over the other emotions, but that initial emotion or two. Where is that coming from, this intuitive piece that I'm powerless over?
Speaker 1:Some people say love is spirituality, Love is higher power. It's a powerful thing. We can't control who we do and don't love, blah, blah, blah. But also when it comes to spirituality and feelings that you could be feeling a certain way and you could try to hide it, like you're wearing a bulletproof Kevlar jacket. And if you're feeling sad and not show it any of it, we could just talk about sports for five or 10 minutes and even though you've got this angst or deep depression and we don't talk about it, I could walk out of this room and I could feel a little different. So we might call that empath or empathy, or we can feel we don't even have to talk about it, but we can feel with someone, or even at some level, what someone else is feeling. To me that's, yes, it's an emotional connection, but I think that's a spiritual connection.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the thing about feelings is that we make it worse, especially if it's something negative, if we suppress it.
Speaker 2:That, to me, is why it is spiritual Isn't a way that it cannot be hidden anyway, so it takes more effort to hide it. So I guess it also goes back to some of the upbringing based on an individual that if feelings are not expressed in a family, you don't feel comfortable sharing about it, but actually you make it worse by trapping it all. But it also goes back to that thing about beliefs and values by unexamined beliefs and unexamined values, because when receiving some information so like when somebody curse, it just sound, but then it passed through my belief system, my linguistic skills and then, oh, that's offensive. So it's just a bunch of information passing through my values and some kind of feelings are created. So, but yeah, based on the person's background and trauma or abuse, whatever it may be, I think the thing is not to be lack of feelings but to respond appropriately, because I can have a very extreme or sensitive belief system that is finding everything offensive, but I would rather have a belief system that is more accepting and also leaves room.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, so as we go over these five things the last one being feelings, and we relate this to spirituality and them being feelings, being spiritual, we shift this from change these things from problem to solution. So Deepak says there's a way to actually change these things, and it's an acronym and it can be a powerful technique. It's simple but it's. I think it can be an effective way to guide us toward expanded awareness. I think we did a really good job of breaking down these relatively simple words to change. Now let's, let's find out what Deepak recommends. So the word and it's ultimately an acronym is stop, s-t-o-p. So the first S is yes, stop.
Speaker 1:I don't know about you, but when I'm in the level of a problem or a significant problem, I'm often like a chicken with my head chopped off, meaning I'm going everywhere but nowhere, that I might be doing action, like we talked about at the beginning of the episode. Whatever action I take, I might be going in circles. I'm just digging a deeper hole. I'm saying I know, yeah, but that won't work. Well, if I'm, whatever I'm doing is not working, I might as well stop.
Speaker 2:Yeah, stop to me also means pausing, like taking a break. That's why I secretly leave time for my meditation. You know, no matter, I have a really good discipline. No matter what's happening, even if the situation is calling my name, I'm like no, I need this ten minute space where I don't even move, sit in silence and stillness. And yeah, those are powerful moments for me to pause.
Speaker 1:That stop that silence, that stillness is more valuable than any action you could take in those 10 minutes. It seems like yeah, and it's just sometimes when we stop we can realize we're in a contracted state. We can realize, oh wait, I'm facing these challenges. Oh, there's just negativity. I can take a moment and take a little mental break, often the form of mindfulness. So, first S stop, then the T is to take three deep breaths. Three deep breaths. Why three deep breaths? What does? Our last episode was on Breathwork.
Speaker 1:Thank you for that lovely article. If you haven't listened yet, go back to last week's episode and enjoy. Why take three deep breaths? What happens when you take three deep breaths?
Speaker 2:Yeah, awareness, right. Speaking of awareness that, yeah, it expands, because breathing it grounds you into the present moment and it's also life, right? So I don't know, there's always something powerful about breathing. So sometimes we're not breathing, breathing affects our mind. So when somebody tells me, breathe deeply for three times, that brings oxygen to my brain.
Speaker 1:Zal, I can't tell you whether it's this office or wherever I've worked and someone comes in my office like a chicken with their head chopped off but is connected, and I say, all right, let's take a breath, and they go. No, take a breath. So, listeners, as long as you're not driving a car, what I'd like you to do is be with us symbolically in this room, pause in the moment and take three deep breaths with us. Ready, Take a little bit deeper and one more. Now, what I love about every time I do this whether I've demonstrated this in a group, often a group setting you feel the energy in the room shift. You feel a lighter energetic space within yourself and within the room, and it's amazing how it's happened. Every time there's only two of us here, but I'm curious to see what people feel. Go, man, I just took these three deep breaths and you're right, when we take a deep breath, we get oxygen to all of our extremities, including our brain. Now I'll give you another example of breath. We talked about this last week in our breathwork episode. The Latin word for breath is spiritus. When I'm in the level of the problem, I often need to be inspired. Spirit again, potentially breath spirit. It gives us life. When I pause and I take three deep breaths, I let in maybe a higher power, I let in this energy force for sure that keeps me alive. I pause. And another T.
Speaker 1:One belief is when we take these three deep breaths, I think that's good enough, but he also believes we should transform our mood and think of one specific feeling, and that word is love. So when we take three deep breaths, we think we inhale love, we inhale light, we inhale this energy, this power force that transforms our mood. I don't know about you, but when I feel love I don't feel anger. When I feel legitimate love, I don't feel fear. When I feel love, I don't feel anxiety. So there's this level of and love can be anything.
Speaker 1:Our friend Harold Green, who did an episode on the 12 sub-principles in everyday life, outside of 12 step meetings he talks about when he takes these three deep breaths, when he meditates, when he sits and stops in silence. His version of love is going back when he was seven years old in Atlanta, fishing in a fishing pond. That's his version of love. Love can be children, it can be higher power, anything you want. But when we allow that in and part of that breath. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this. When I take a deep breath it might be the most millimicro nano part of that second of that breath. I am not thinking about a damn thing Now when I'm in the level of the problem and my brain is racing a mile a minute and I'm running around like chicken with my head chopped off. It might be so quick, I don't notice it, but at least in that moment, as short or as quick as it is, I'm not thinking about anything and I think that's very powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is too much, probably, of a simplification, but I guess all feelings fall into these two umbrella of love and fear. The thing about breath is that, well, the thing about worries and anxieties come from a place of fear that I'm not going to be okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay. But when you take pause and breathe, you're like, oh, I'm safe. There's a sense of safety because breath keeps me alive. And when you're able to breathe, you are like, oh, I am safe and I have everything that I need physically in this moment, although my thoughts are saying otherwise. When you connect with breathing, your body realizes that, oh, I'm alive and I'm safe. The temperature is okay, maybe I need to eat, whatever. Maybe you react as this whole situation.
Speaker 1:It goes from negative expectation negative or fear-based expectation to no expectation, just observance. Yeah, I did this one time for a group of people 20, 25 people and I said transform your mood and think of love. And there was one client who said I don't know about you, luke, but I haven't felt love in a very long time. Oh, I felt that. I felt that he felt that I believe that he believed that belief. But the coolest thing happened the other 20, 23 people in that group said brother man, it's okay, we love you. And he just broke down crying.
Speaker 1:I get chills thinking about that. He felt love. His belief system that he hasn't felt love, can't feel love, doesn't believe in it, all of a sudden gone. That to me is spiritual, to me, that kind of connection. You can't make that up. So, whatever that love is, there's three deep breaths. Stop, take three deep breaths, transform your mood, think of love. And then we, oh, we observe. After we take these deep breaths, we observe inward. When I'm in contracted awareness, my muscles are tight, my heart's beating, I'm tense, I'm like man. Let me just relax. Sometimes I take more than three deep breaths. Let me relax my body, let me slow down and then, we begin to be curious and observe that inner landscape.
Speaker 1:Man, why am I angry at Saul right now? Why was my expectation he was here and it wasn't met? Man, why is my? And then we start looking at our perspective, our assumptions, our expectations, our unhealthy beliefs and all of a sudden, my hand pointing outwards goes and I begin to notice the things about myself and the unhealthy perspectives, expectations, beliefs, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, there probably is a very serious intention behind that sequence. Right, I cannot start with the observing while I'm in it. I need to pause first. I need to take a deep breath. Only then I can have a non-judgmental awareness point of view of what's happening.
Speaker 1:I might need that healthy, spiritual, inspired something that is me, that was blocked, to help me change those things Absolutely. And we begin to observe those things and all of a sudden we might have that shift in consciousness. All of a sudden we might go from the level of the problem to a level of solution. And then P we proceed. We proceed with kindness, love and compassion. Now, what I tell people is you might not be getting kindness, love and compassion back, but there's no reason at Karma episode Feel free to check that out there's no reason why we can't proceed with kindness, love and compassion even though we believe we're not getting it in return.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that reminds me of that famous prayer that I've heard in the Tosta Fellowship I guess it is a translation about it's better to understand than to be understood it is better to love than to be loved. It makes me think of that, that we are capable of all that, but I'm more attracted to be loved than to be un.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to be understood, I want to be loved.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be the one who loved in that moment, but it gets returned down the line, Even if other people don't return. I return to myself when I come from a place of love. I am love, so it's kind of crazy, how it's all internal, which will probably lead us into the open or expanded awareness.
Speaker 1:Tell me.
Speaker 2:I'm curious.
Speaker 1:Their perspective towards a more positive and open-minded outlook. We begin to be the change. Like you said at the beginning, it's the unseen. Sometimes I call it the non-tangible. It's not the. I'm bumping my shin on that piece of furniture. Let me just move that piece of furniture. Sometimes my problems are that, but often my problems with people work, relationship, finances are a more, shall I say, spiritual way of looking at things. It's not always the tangible things that I can change in my life or all of a sudden things open up for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's beautiful. I like that Awareness is vast.
Speaker 1:Embracing. Expanded awareness leads to increased clarity, intuition, wisdom, decision-making, just that ability to shift to whether you call it your higher part of self or this expanded awareness, all of a sudden, because our feelings are different, our belief systems not so rooted in the problem but rooted in the solution, we're more likely to walk on a solution path. So what does that?
Speaker 2:sound. How does that sound? It sounds good. Yeah, it sounds pretty good. And that coincides with maybe I'm not sure if I haven't, I'm not sure if I have mentioned it in the podcast, Maybe I've mentioned it to clients and friends and stuff like that about what meditation does to our mind when we meditate, especially when I have a problem.
Speaker 1:So like so you're saying the stop acronym happens in meditation.
Speaker 2:Maybe go ahead oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So, like when I have a problem and when I meditate, it's not an elimination of that problem, but I become aware of other things. That is outside of that problem. So it's more about awareness. Because we have very limited information, we can choose to just see these things, but the pausing, the stopping, the observation, it makes us become aware of so many other things that are happening already but I'm not paying attention to, you know. So when there is a problem, it's not about how do I solve this, how do I know. It's more about what else can I see?
Speaker 2:The truth of the situation here and that's what I'm hearing about the expanded awareness is that what is actually going on here. What is it that I'm not seeing? And then becoming aware of that. Otherwise, I'm so channel vision that this is what's happening and this is all I know. The more I think about it, the bigger it grows. You know about the problem, but the trick or the solution, which is more of spiritual in nature, is that what is it that I'm not seeing here? What else can I see?
Speaker 1:It's that mind-body connection, it's that mind-body awareness. But here's my oh wait, there's more is all Third level? There's a third level. Yeah, tell me what's that? Contracted, expanded. And the third level, or the highest level, awareness he calls pure awareness. So if we look at that word, pure purity not just that good shit when it comes to drugs, purity is blemishless, it's no faults. This is a level where there are no problems exist. Okay, let me change the perspective of verbiage for some people. Oh, of course there's problems. I agree. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. Your inner and outer worlds reflect each other without confusion or conflict. As solutions arise from the level of true self, they meet no resistance. All your desires lead to the best result for you and your surroundings. As you move from level one to level three, life's challenges become what they are meant to be a step closer to your true self. Now that I've had a description, what do you think of pure awareness?
Speaker 2:Yeah, pure means originality, the origins of things. That's how I interpret it, Even to relate that with the breath too. This is actually from one of my favorite American Buddhist monks that I regularly listen to. I think he just said it casually, but it sticks with me. About the fact that I'm relating this to the purity is that the reason why we pay attention to the breath is that everything else came later. Breath came first. My resentment, my belief system, my feelings, the way I view the world, the only came later. That is how it all began. So that's how I relate with that bliss or purity of awareness is that this is where everything all came from.
Speaker 2:It's available, it's pure awareness and it's just non-judgmental.
Speaker 1:It's all good kind of feeling it's the way it's supposed to be, it's acceptance.
Speaker 2:But I think it would be helpful to conclude it all to maybe we've already mentioned it that we do have access to that. I don't know if we've delivered that message through this episode that it is possible through holistic approach, meditation, therapy, whatever it is. We do have access to that pure awareness. But now we're like an instant gratification. It's not like a button switch, but it takes practice and it takes patience.
Speaker 1:I'll say need I need other people's perspectives to help me with this? Am I always able to do this by myself? No, that's where I think therapy, meditation, support groups are very helpful to get to this higher part of self. That's how you want to look at it. I joke and I say, okay, pure awareness, that might be Gandhi, that might be Mother Teresa, that might be Buddha. I'll settle for expanded awareness. Thank you very much. Well, yeah, I think it's a good perspective on a way to find a solution. These can be parallel with spiritual principles, buddhist principles, recovery principles. They certainly align with a lot of things that we certainly talk about on this podcast. As I plugged a few other episodes throughout this episode. Yeah, let's do a conclusion, shall we?
Speaker 1:As we end this transformative journey, we hope that you the most essential part of our podcast, you guys and gals that are listening have gained valuable insights into this essence of awareness and its profound impact on our lives. Throughout this podcast, we explored the levels of awareness, from contracted to expanded and, ultimately, pure awareness, and how they influence our approach to life's challenges. The truth is, every problem we encounter is an invitation to delve deeper into our spiritual selves. By expanding our awareness, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities, moving beyond the limitations of fear, confusion and struggle. As we shift from contracted to expanded awareness, we begin to see solutions emerge, obstacles become easier to overcome and our vision extends beyond the conflicts that once held us back. Embracing expanded awareness is not a mere abstract concept, but a powerful tool for personal transformation and growth. Through mindfulness, self-reflection and a genuine connection with our true selves, we can harness the energy of pure awareness, where problems dissolve into creative opportunities and feel aligned with life's natural flow. Zal has shared insights from the Buddhist perspective, highlighting the importance of inner harmony and living in alignment with the forces of nature. His wisdom reminds us that embracing pure awareness makes us free from resistance, effortlessly navigating life's challenges with, hopefully, grace and wisdom.
Speaker 1:As a therapist, I've witnessed the incredible power of expanded awareness in my client's lives. Shifting from contracted to expanded awareness can indeed be a life-changing experience. It empowers us to break free from limiting beliefs, overcome fears and connect with our deepest desires. So we encourage you to embrace the journey of awareness and spirituality in your own life Through mindfulness, meditate and engage in self-reflection. Cultivate a compassionate and loving relationship with yourself and others. By doing so, you'll unlock the immense potential within you leading to a moving, fulfilling and purposeful life.
Speaker 1:But remember, every problem is indeed open to spiritual solution and the journey towards the solution begins by expanding your awareness, sometimes by stopping Together. Let's embark on the path of growth, love and transformation. Thank you for joining us on this remarkable journey. We're grateful for your presence and look forward to exploring more profound topics in the world of awareness and spirituality, and all things, health and wellness. So until then, embrace the essence of awareness and may your life be filled with peace, joy and boundless possibilities. My name is Luke. Thank you all for listening. This is Zau. See you next time.